I, me, & myself
Well, Its strange to talk about yourself… You think you know yourself, but actually you dont.
The question is… Do I live or simply exist?
Do you ever ask yourself “Is this real? Am I really here?”
My name is Natalia, Im 17 and my BIG-HUGE-FAT and only dream is to escape from home and run away to NYC. Somewhere noone knows my name, and there… I will find myself.
This is a thinspiration blog, as well as my scape from reality. I am PRO-ANA & PRO-MIA and I just want to be forever THIN.
I am just a normal girl trapped in a normal world.
I dont have any talent.
I think too much.
I love math.
I come from a broken home. I never get to see my mom beucause she doesnt like me at all, the worst part is that my little sister lives with her and she has started to think I am a bad person too.
Now I live with my dad, who I love.
I like book better than people.
Sometimes I cut myself.
I love writting.
I have a boyfriend. We have been together for more than 2 years and I love him… Most of the time I think he deserves better. I dont understand how he is still with me when he could have any girl he wants.
Sometimes I wish I´d never been born…
I wish I could put all my thoughts in a jar, or just bury them in my little diary. I think too much, Im my worst enemy. Thinking too much causes me to over thing and analyze things I dont want to deal with. It gets too much for me to handle and I panic. I shut myself down and go to war with myself. Im tired. Im sick of being tired. i dont know what Im doing. Im sick of feeling sad. Sick of waiting for things and people I cant have, sick of being ugly and fat. I want to be at peace with myself for once. I want to be thin. I want to be happy and think about things that doesnt send me over the edge.
I am tired of living, scared of dying. As Voltaire once wrote, “I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but… somehow I am still in love with life”.
